Leadership that is inspiring

While sitting in on a meeting this morning (I said ’sitting in’ because in the pecking order, I was really in the lowliest rungs in that room and to describe myself as a participant would be totally laughable), I got a glimpse of what charismatic leadership and effective management were.

Well it wasn’t a very pleasant meeting per se because it was one that had stemmed from problems working with our office. In all honesty, some of the directors from another department weren’t really there to be friends with us. However, a little into the meeting, my boss’s US boss interjected and shared a story about Coca Cola survey on customer satisfaction and reminded all to focus on the solving the problems at hand so that the future would look brighter than now. He was able to steer the dialogue in the correct direction. He did NOT inject his own subjective opinions or side any parties (well if he did, it was done so very cleverly I have to take my hats off him), but by asking all the right questions to elicit information for all to think clearly, at the right time, in a very diplomatic way.

And we all came away with a few solutions and more confidence for the future (at least on our end). That’s the way leaders should be, shouldn’t it? I have learnt a lot in that 1 hour.

So far apart for the first time

Dear Shin,

Mommy misses you. Madly. The work’s done here and I want to quickly get back to you. When the boss first said we need to go to UK, Mommy felt priviledged that the company was ’sponsoring’ a trip to Europe. It was both exciting and scary to think about the work that needed to be done. And of course Mommy knew it wasn’t going to be easy to be away from you for 1 week.

And sure it wasn’t. Two hours into flying, and Mommy started to miss you and wished I were on the flight back instead. Yes, it was swanky to fly business class (for swaku Mommy) and for attendants to address you by name on the flight, but I’d trade any of these just to hold you (even if you were making your anger known and bursting Mommy’s eardrums). It must have been the most difficult 14 hours to survive. Mommy wondered what you (and Daddy) were doing, whether you’ll miss me, whether you’ll drive Daddy mad, whether he’ll sing to you to calm you down and if you’ll not drink milk properly again.

True enough, Daddy tells me that you started waking up in the wee hours, refused to drink and refused to go back to bed. He thinks you are missing me. I think so too. You must be looking for the woman who feeds you at nights and in the mornings and not knowing where to find me. Its really something that babies shouldn’t be subjected to and I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there to make you feel better. Though I’m so glad for Skype which lets Mommy see you (were you looking at Mommy too through the screen? You seem a little distracted darling).

Everytime Mommy sees babies and toddlers on the beautiful streets, Mommy thinks about what it would be like for you to be here with me. The architecture and warmer than average weather here have been nothing short of awesome and how nice would it be for the 3 of us to spend time here. Daddy and Mommy did seriously consider flying you here so that we could all spend some time in Europe. But you are too young and bringing you away from the comfort zone would be really taxing for all of us (sorry dear).

Another 36 hours seem like an interminably long time to endure to get back to you. But I’ll try to make the most of my time here. Mommy is going to do a little sightseeing and shopping tomorrow before the flight. I’ve already got you a few presents and I’m going to get you more! It’s strange but I don’t really care to buy much stuff for myself anymore.

It’s 4am in SG now, I hope you are not waking up again and looking for me. Sleep tight my dear girl. Another 1.5 days and both of us will see each other again.

Love,
Mommy

Beyond tired

For posterity

Shin usually becomes cranky in the evenings, just before bedtime. We have to carry her around quite a bit, swaddle her, rock her, reswaddle her, walk her until she gets really tired and then she sleeps. She screams a lot in the process and we try our best to calm her down. We try not to bring her out of her darkened room because, once we do this, her ‘I-can-play-now-no-need-to-sleep’ instinct immediately kicks in and it gets even more difficult to put her to bed later.

Yesterday after a long time of fussing in the room, we decided to bring her to the living room while we have dinner. She sat in the chair quietly, not particularly happy or unhappy, but generally just tolerating it and relieved I think. We noted something interesting. Each time Mr EG left his seat, example to the kitchen to get a drink, Shin would shout to indicate her displeasure (note that I was still in my seat with her at the dinner table). This happened for 3 times (no we didn’t purposely test her reaction)! We laughed and she looked at us with this totally puzzled stare.

Then when we brought her back to her room (way past her usual bedtime), she began to scream again and refused to stop even when I picked her up. When Mr EG took over, she calmed down immediately (Mr EG has this effect on her at night, she loves to doze off on Daddy’s warm shoulders; Mommy’s one is all skin and bones and not comfy at all). Since I was no longer needed, I left the room and went to do some housework. 3 minutes later, Mr EG came with Shin into the kitchen, ‘She wants ME to carry her but she wants YOU there for her to look at. She can’t stop screaming after you left the room.’

Oh, my baby…you are so cute* and you make us laugh so. So young and experiencing separation anxiety already?

*I know we find it cute and funny now but if she keeps this up, I’m sure cuteness would soon turn into irritation. haha.

Worry

Have you mommies out there experienced periods when baby doesn’t want to drink milk? Just before I went back to work four weeks ago, Shin was happily downing 180ml of milk per feed. But since I went back to work, she has been drinking less and less. At first she would drink lots of milk when I got home and fed her at night and so that evens the volume out, but we noticed that recently with me being at home, she still drinks as little as half of what she usually does! When I’m not at home, she’ll drink between 20ml to 55ml only! I need to add that in this case, we obsessive parents update our milk log religiously so we can tell at a glance the deterioriating situation very clearly (and painfully).

We are unable to pinpoint the crux of the problem. Since birth her intake has been rather erratic. We brought our concerns to the paed a couple of times, asked him if we should send Shin for a full checkup but he always assures us that Shin is healthy and that some babies just do not like milk very much. She gains weight very slowly and as parents, it is really heart wrenching to see your baby being born a good size at birth (3.3kg!) and then looking smaller than even babies younger or born lighter than her as each month passes by. Apart from when being forced to drink milk, she is mostly active and happy, and reaches the developmental milestones on track. But I’m so worried that this situation spells a more major problem which we aren’t aware of. Am I being paranoid again?

Can any of you recommend a good paed? I just want to get a second opinion. Thanks!

Selfish baby and clever toddler

We brought Shin back to my mom’s place for a gathering with my two lovely toddler nephews about 3 weeks ago. Everytime my sis holds Shin, she will start to cry. While in the process of transferring Shin quickly back to me, we overhead Audric, our 3-year-old nephew proclaim at the sidelines, ‘Selfish baby’. We stopped short and after 1 second, everyone burst out laughing. His mom shushed him. My mom not having caught that, asked us what he said, and Audric’s mom said he meant the baby is ‘gou dak’ (Teochew for something along the lines of selfish, not easygoing, anal). I found it very hilarious. Audric certainly did not mean it in a derogatory way, but on seeing that Shin didn’t allow herself to be carried by others, had innocently blurted out what he meant by her not being accepting, not understanding about separation anxiety at such a young age.

Audric is one very clever boy. At his age, his command of  the English vocabulary and reading skill far surpasses his peers. His mom tell us that every morning without fail upon waking up, he would read ALL his storybooks (at least 8 stories) with long complete sentences. And Mr EG and I are still wowed by what his mommy once said, ‘There was once Audric had a fight with his big bro and you know what he did? In a huff-and-puff, he stormed back to his room, turned on the fan and…started doing his homework!’ The only thing we felt was a little disturbing was that he seems to be quite the loner in school. He enjoys going to nursery classes but does not talk to anyone (he goes home and tells his mom that so-and-so chatted with him and he completely ignored them).

What to do? 天才是孤僻的.

Developmental milestones

Shin started sleeping on her side yesterday. Today we found her on tummy, face down on the mattress! My baby, she learns fast! Also, today she reached out and grabbed a round rattle, shaking it. Mr EG had the first preview in the day while I was at work, but she repeated it when we held out a rattle within her reach.

And in similar news, for the past 2 weeks she has been craning her neck forward, like she wants to sit up while lying down. She can also now reach back and scratch the back of her head — she does this often, like her head was perpetually itchy. And she has been grabbing her toes with both hands, like she’s doing sit-n-reach!

Who you looking at? Me? Just chilling and exercising...

I’m so proud of my Shin! I think the exhilaration is akin to my daughter having graduated from university with PhD or something like that. Ha.

This girl’s flipping

We woke up today to find the lil’ bub sleeping sideways, back arched (how can anyone sleep like that!) and hugging the cot bumper with her arms that have broken free of the swaddle. Cuteness!

By the time I was awake enough to want to capture the Kodak moment, she had turned to her back and sleeping soundly. She was still in dreamland when I left for work.

I miss my baby. And I know she misses me too, by the hunger strikes she tenaciously hangs on to when I’m at work. On the one hand I’m a little flattered (always thought she prefers her dad to me), but I am really hoping and praying that she increases her feeds soon!

Hormonal, or crazy mothering instinct, or whatever

Since I got pregnant, I discovered that I became really teary…like see-a-petal-fall-off-on-tv-will-also-weep kind. Seriously. I go sniff-sniff so often while watching tv dramas and documentaries and the news. Then of course during the baby blue days the tap couldn’t be turned off at all. Thank goodness all these moments only happen at home.

Nowadays whenever I see (other) babies, on the street, in the lift, on FB, on friends’ blogs, on *strangers’* blogs I have like this incredible urge to carry/hug/kiss them. I can’t stop gushing at how adorable these babies all are. Of course, I also can’t get enough of Shin. Want to just kiss/smell her hair, hands, feet, tummy/squeeze/snuggle up with her all day long.

Sometimes I feel that I am becoming quite an airhead. Where did that cool, calm, (must always appear) collected woman go?

TGIF

I feel blessed on a Friday night because:

• Mr EG has gone out for some well deserved R&R with friends after taking care of Shin for 2 entire days on his own (yes the husband can feed, change, bath the baby solo and I am very proud of him).
• I have been happy back at work  and back home after work for the past 2 days.
• After her bath and milk today, Shin has gone to bed at 8pm without much fuss (she seems to know that time with Mommy is now very precious and has been mostly a good girl for the past two days).
• This means I can now relax and enjoy my Mother’s Milk Tea in the coolness of the night.
• The best part is….tomorrow’s a non-working day and I can devote all my time to my little family the whole day again!

Happiness.